Love.

Tomorrow is my last day of school with my students.  Last full day with my whole class.  I cannot believe it.

I started to tear down some of the things on my wall that I don't need anymore, and have begun the pre-packing organization process, and the room feels so naked, so sad, so hollow.  I feel like it's the beginning of the end and I am having a hard time visualizing myself NOT there in August.

Obviously, as I have talked about before, Room 211 is my happy place.  I love being in there.  Anytime, and in any way I can.  I do get a lot of work done and have a lot of fun with my teammates after the school day is over or early in the morning...I like to play music on the SmartBoard and grade away.  BUT, it is amazing how much, very much, warmer it feels the second one of my students strolls through the door.  Each morning they have these killer smiles, these sleepy faces and sometimes messy hair.  Some are shy and quiet as they adjust to the routine they know so well.  Sharpening their pencils, gazing at the board for what's ahead.  Others enter the room with a boom and a shout - immediately asking me questions, sharing a very loud story with their peers about their evening or weekend.  I can't help but smile to myself.  We spend SO much time together, how is it that they miss each other each night - how precious is that?  

I have been reading a devotional to my students each day all year.  I am not really the preachy type and don't feel comfortable teaching religion or going into the nitty gritty of spirituality with my class but I certainly  feel strongly about community building and using what teachers call "character education" to develop their growth socially and emotionally.  I have always believed that the things you learn at school that are the most important are NOT your math and reading skills, but how to be a citizen, a human being, an open minded individual and how to participate in the world around you.

I am often surprised at how relevant the devotional is to my own life, even though it is a children's book and it is intended to teach them a short lesson each a.m.  Sometimes it will be about not tattling on others, or listening to your parents, but I would be lying if I said I have not learned a lot about patience, forgiving others, keeping a positive attitude, and being a good friend from my little Veggie Tales flip book. :)  Each morning we rise for the pledge, I read our devotional, we sometimes sing a song, and then I jot a short phrase from our devotional on the board for them to think about each day.

However, I have not read a new devotional since May 20th.
This is because the devotional that day hit us all pretty hard and was pretty special.

Fill your heart with love.  

What special words.  What a simple task.  What an easy assignment to take on. 

I have not erased that section of the white board in almost two weeks.  And what a perfect message to end our year with. 

Firstly, this classroom is SO full of love it is ridiculous.  We love to learn.  We love to sing.  We love to come to school.  We love to ask questions.  We love our school.  We love to take good care of our classroom.  We love all of the adults that help our classroom function each day.  We love math.  We love to read so much we have almost run out of books.  We love science, social studies, maps, and grammar.  We love to diagram sentences.  We love to sing, write in cursive, and we love to write in our journals.  We love to dance at the end of the school day while we wait for the bell to ring.  

Secondly, the students I have in my classroom show each other so much love each and every day.  They love each other's artwork, each other's answers during group discussions, ideas and questions, and compliment their peers constantly during every activity, lesson, and project we work on. They love to work together.  They love to support each other when they make mistakes.  They love to hold hands, they love to hug each other without being asked, they love to  make each other smile and giggle.  They love to work on puzzles, teach each other new games on the playground, and to say "I love ya, buddy!" over and over at snack time.  I can't wait to see where life takes them.  I can't wait to be pen pals.  I can't wait til they are old enough to friend me on Facebook, haha! 

Thirdly, I have never felt love so strongly as I did this year at Hancock.  This school has become such a home for me.  I love my students, and their families have shown me so much love.  I have been showered with compliments, positive feedback, small gifts, handwritten notes, hugs, and happy faces each and every week.  Yes, the work is hard.  No, teaching is not all sunshine and rainbows and carving pumpkins/using gel pens and stickers.  Teaching is super, freaking hard work.  But it is so incredibly rewarding and the community of a small school like HDS makes it that much more intimate and relationship-based.  I have dealt with some serious mid-twenties anxiety, struggled living far away from my family and college buddies, had my heart broken here and there, and felt pretty lonely here in Savannah.  But I have to say the decision to move was such a struggle for me because I didn't want to lose this incredible job.  It was the one thing I was not going to let go of readily.  And I think that speaks volumes about my 11 students, my principal, my peer teachers, my teammates, and the environment I have been so lucky to spend so much time working in.  

Side story: my grandfather asked me over the graduation weekend if I had "any real love in my life, these days."  Feeling at first a bit in shock at his bluntness - and boy is he good at blunt - I had to remind myself to not freak out or crumble at his simple question.  True, I am single.  But am I loved?  Am I in love?  You bet. :)  

 So, yes, I'd say my heart is pretty full of love without even having to try.  I'd say I have eleven "real loves in my life these days."  

And that Friday morning when I flipped to pave 267 during my morning ritual, the little people in front of me had me teary-eyed.  We talked about all of the amazing things we have learned together (as I often remind my class, they teach me as much as I am teaching them), how different we have all become since the first day of third grade, and how we are going to totally love on each other until the bell rings on June 3rd.  And they have absolutely accepted the challenge.    

Today I had each child bring something to our "Casanova's Class Act" Talent Show.  Some students played piano, one told jokes, others sang or hula hooped and we even had two girls dance (in the dark with glow sticks) to a Katy Perry song. :)  There is nothing I love more than watching them cheer each other on.  Not only do they have so much love to share, they all have so many talents - some that you can see, some that need a little support, and others that are maybe waiting to reveal themselves below the surface.  As my assistant principal likes to remind our staff:

"Each child has a gift, they just open them at different times."

Here's a poem I am sending home with my students tomorrow:
(And no, I didn't write it...thank God for the internet!)

I CAN Do It!

You are very special, and I want you to know,

I loved being your teacher; and it's hard to see you go.

Though our time together this year, has come quickly to an end,

I will remember you forever, my dear third grade friend.

As you continue your journey, you will learn and grow,

Please carry these words I give to you, wherever you may go:

Always do your best, no matter how hard it seems.

And if you do, I promise, you will reach your dreams.

Remember to tell yourself, "I CAN do it", because I know you can;

Think of all you've learned since school first began.

Reading, Writing and Math; I know weren't always fun,

But I am so proud of you for all that you have done.

You will continue learning as you move from grade to grade,

Keep in mind and think about the progress you have made.

If you feel like giving up - - keep trying, you'll make it through.

I know this, for not too long ago, I was a student just like you.

I had special teacher who taught me something, too;

And throughout this year I've tried to teach it to you:

Always believe in yourself and know that it is true;

You will see, you can do anything you set your mind to.

So, as time goes by, you may forget certain things about the third grade

Like the stories we read and the games that we played

But there's one thing I hope you remember your whole life through,

It's to know that you CAN do it, and Ms. Casanova believes in you.